Growing up I loved playing the game LIFE. I loved to see what career I would land and what my house card would look like. I always wanted to be in the millionaire mansion at the end. So it was a no brainer when it came to choosing between the short path to a quick paycheck or taking the little longer college route to get a better paying job card, which path I would take. After all this would be my salary for the rest of the game.
My real life when I was in 11th grade wasn't too far removed, I knew I wanted to go to college, get a good job and be able to afford a few well deserved bennies, namely a convertible jaguar. So the first choice to make was where I would go to college. There seemed to be three paths my school mates were taking. A few had the grades and money for Duke, Dartmouth or Clemson. Then there was the mainstream that were going to rival state schools, UF or FSU. Whenever you asked them they wouldn't verbally answer instead show their preference by making the motions of a gator's mouth closing or the chopping of an axe with their forearm. The last group which consisted mostly of what we affectionately referred to as "surf rats" missed too many classes in exchange for great waves and ended up at our local community college.
My grades were good, I had AP classes and lots of club involvement. College admissions counselors would come to our school to describe why their school was right for us. I didn't think to ask anyone in my family what they thought but decided I would walk in my brother's footsteps and go to UF. A good family friend was willing to help out financially so I was on my way. I was accepted and had my dorm assignment and in the spring of my senior year it all changed.
I have often thought when I look back what a difficult thing it is to try and figure out at 17 or 18 what you should do career wise for the rest of your life. I started out thinking I wanted to be a social worker, my heart broke as I would hear stories of children who were mistreated and I wanted to make a difference in the world. For a short time I entertained the idea of being a stewardess because of my love for travel until my dad commented that this was a waitress in the air. I did consider law for a time, I was pretty good at arguing and had strong opinions and could get paid alot for it. The idea of seven years of school when I was 18 seemed endless though. Your dad/my brother got a business degree and I really looked up to him so in the end I thought that would be the best route for me.
My high school years were characterized by lots of service clubs, mostly for my transcript, I worked many hours and most weekends I went out looking for a keg party because that seemed to be where all the guys were. Mom worked so most of the time I could go and do pretty much whatever I wanted. I have to say when I think back to the guys I dated and the situations I got myself in I seemed to show not alot of forethought, in other words I was really stupid. I didn't think much ahead of the next weekend. In the spring of my senior year I felt sick by the way I was living and at the invitation of a friend, attended a youth group. That was such a life changing moment. I became a Christian. My paradigm was about to completely change.
The year I was a senior, UF was named one of the best party schools in the US. I had been there a few times and could vouch for that fact! I knew that would not be the best place to get focused for me. It was too late to apply anywhere else so I decided to stay near home and go to the community college. At first I would be embarrassed as my friends would rattle their plans to leave home, but in my heart I knew I was where I needed to be.
After getting my AA at the community college I then attended a private liberal arts college at a nearby town. I got a BA in Business Marketing by the skin of my teeth. Productions and Operations Management was a class I needed to graduate that I saved for my last semester, thanks to a merciful professor that promised to give me whatever grade I got on my final I was able to graduate!
Now looking back to the choices I made I think I would have done some things differently.
Here's my 20 YRSUP ( this stands for thoughts I have now 2o years up the road) :
1) Learn from others and ask lots of questions- So many careers sound great at first glance. The best way to get a realistic view of a job is ask someone who is in that position now. Internships are also a way to get a feel for a job before committing much time and money to a specific career. Take out a professional in an area you're interested in for lunch or coffee and ask them about the benefits and challenges of their position. Ask them if they had to do it all over what would they have done differently? You can learn alot by asking questions and most people are pretty comfortable to talk about their careers. The best advice you will get is going to be from your parents or whoever knows you most. I didn't do this at all. Those whom you are closest to know you better than anyone and want your best.
2) Be realistic about the cost- When I first was looking at schools money was a real issue because my mom wasn't in a place to contribute. I was able to get financial aid for all four years but did have to take on school loans. When I got them originally it was just signing a piece of paper but I didn't understand what a weight that would become once I graduated. Those first few years I didn't make a huge salary and my loans took a big chunk of it. I am really glad now that I did community college first even though back then it seemed a humbling choice. I had no loans from that time. Once you have your job not many people give much thought to your Alma Mater. Make sure you see the cost as real money. If you get loans think about it as if you were putting it on a credit card.
3) Care less about making choices that might impress others- I remember being really tempted to compare my grades or college choices to my classmates. One thing I see now is that the people I cared so much to impress for the most part I have never seen again. The hand full that were good friends and I kept up with didn't really care what school I chose.
4) Don't be afraid to change your mind- There can be so much presure to figure out college choices and career choices but don't be afraid to change your mind. In the end you are going to have to live it. In my case I never wanted to have a family, I wanted to be independent and self sufficient. Once I saw healthy families in the church I went to and fell in love with Matt my mind changed. I can't tell you enough how being a mom has been one of the best choices of my life. What a privilege to be a primary means of influencing other human beings. This wasn't at all where I originally was headed but I am so glad for where I am now.
5) Work hard but don't take things too seriously- Right now when you are busy studying and trying to keep up on a high GPA it can seems so huge to pick a college and career. Now looking back I think life is so much more than just your career. Its the kind of person you are. Being unselfish, reliable and loving have much more impact on this world than the specific career you have.
Well my game of LIFE is at least if not more than half over. I thought it was about making all the right choices on career and college when I first started, but now looking back I've been much more affected by the pink and blue stick figures that got added to my car. They have made the journey so much more meaningful. Look forward to hear your thoughts on your experience on choosing a college.
